I first became a Grammie on November 21, 1997. My eldest daughter Kristi, and her husband, Brett, had a son, Brett Jacob. It was at that moment when I first held him that I realized why God created me. The joy in my heart at that time was like no other I had ever experienced. Oh, when I gave birth to his mother some 23 years earlier, I thoouht there was nothing on earth that could ever make me feel so blessed. Someoe needed me! For the first time in my life there was this tiny, beautiful bundle of love that depended completly on me for her very survival and I felt like THE most important person in her world. And let's face it, I was. And watching her grow into the gorgeous, accomplished woman she grew to be was one of the highlights of my life. Until that day in November, 1997. I felt literally, that my heart was going to jump out of my chest because it could not contain the love I felt for this incredible crreature. Brett acob became my world. And then one of the hardest things I have ever had to do was to leave him to his parents in New Orleans and drive back to my home in South Carolina. I think I cried all 10 hours it took me to drive home. I felt physical pain in my heart. Honestly, I was afraid I was not gong to be able to finish that drive home because of the tears that would not stop running down my face. And I could hardly wait untill it was time to go back just so I could see him. And lucky me, I had to see my doctor there every 90 days, so I was able to get a real relationship started with him. Everytime I hit New Orleans, the very firt place I went to was ay care to pick him up. He was about 7 or 8 months old when he saw me and his arms went up for me to pick him up and shortly after that he learned to say "Gammie." The first time I heard that I though I was going to pop with joy. He was always happy to see me. And he knew that as soon as he settled in his carseat he would hold out his little arms and say one word, "coke." I always had one cold coke that I had just picked up fr he and I to share and for many many months this was our secret. knew his parents would not like that I let him have coke as little as he was. And my attitude was, I only get to be with hom every 3 months so my job was to spoil him for the few days I was going to be in town, then give him back to his parents and happily go on my way. Yes, the crying had stopped eve though was sad to leave I was over the crying all the way back to SC.
As he got a tle older, we still had that same ritual when I got into town but we started doing other thing too. Gong to the zoo was a big thing for Brett Jacob and Grammie (he had learned to sa it by then). And in the summer there was always ice cream and snowballs. My daugghter asked me one eveninng when I brought him home if I ever let him have anything other than straight sugar. I would always smile and tell her not of I could help it. You see, I figured that my job was to spoil him, let him have whatever he wanted (he was positiv that I didn't even understand what the word "no" meant. And that was fine with me). By the time I got hm bck to his parents he was filthy dirty, and although worn out from a day with Grammie, he was also o a sugar high, so he was bouncing off the walls. And when I was home and went to the grocery store I would gind little boxes of animal crackers and all kinds of little toys and snacks and I began putting things like this in a box and wh the box got filled I would mail it to hhim He began to look for those boxes and get so very excited whe they would come. Life just could not get any better than this.
Being a Mom for the very first time is probably the best time in a young woman's life. Everything is new and exciting for both of you. Your child is growing and learning something new every day and you are as well. The pride in your voice when you talk about her cannot be matched. You know beyond any shadow of doubt that you would lay down your life in a split scond, without even thnking about it, if your child is in danger And everyy night after your child falls asleep you stand next to that crib sometimes with tears of complete joy run down your cheeks in awe that you actually produced this miracle, because it is a miracle. A miracle that you thank God for daily. But then one day in the far away future you get to be a grandparent and that love that you experienced with your own chiold is trippled, if that is even close to the pure joy and happiness that you experience. I once heard that Grandkids were God's reward for not killing your own child when you had the chance. That's funny, but not true. Grandchildren are definitely God's reward but damn if I can figure out what He would be rewarding me for. But I feel so blessed that He did.
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